Steven Hawking is an idiot

For many years i’ve had the MC Hawking mp3’s on rotation - the awe inspiring classic “All My Shootin’s Be Drivebys ” will always be considered by me as his greatest work.

Then, he comes along and ruins it all with this new “theory” and a begging letter to Branson to blast him into space!!!

Basically, this new “theory” is the very essence of fucking star trek!!!!!

I can see all those star trek nerds now, shouting jubilantly in Vulcan, they have been preparing since they were 10 years old for the day they move to space - no fucko - when the day comes to blast some fuckers into space to keep the human race alive, the last person they are going to have as potential breeders in the final frontier is fucking fucktards in plastic pointy ears that can recite the whole of deep space 9!! IDIOTS!!!!

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Myleene Klass and the shower

I don’t understand what wrong with people - how in shits name did Matt Willis win I’m a celebutard??!!!!

The shower scenes PEOPLE??? Were they all in vain?!?!?!?

Yet again, it goes to prove the voting public sit in unicorn wallpaper clad rooms voting as many times as there are glowing stars on their ceilings. These same people will put Take That at number 1 this Christmas, be warned.

Anyway - let us console ourselves with the Myleene Shower videos

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deal or no deal - donna

Although Noel Edmunds is evil & really pisses me off, his stupid ass box game does throw up some delights in human misery… the latest one being the “donna” episode.

Normally the morons that get to choose the boxes think they are clever and have some sort of “system” to “beat the banker” (P.S NO you don’t, IDITOTS) and this is what normally angers me. There IS NO SYSTEM to this game!!!!! It’s pure chance!!!! You’ve got to be lucky and that’s it!! This stupid mutnick WAS actually lucky & having a good game… until she called over her ugly monkey looking fiancé for advice… then it all went wrong… oh sooooo wrong!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

Let us relive the last ten minutes of the game, from the deal to the devastation!!

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will it blend

HOLY PISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Forget Jack LaLanne’s feeble attempt at a blender, THESE SODS have the best blender EVER INVENTED!!!

WHY? BECAUSE IT BLENDS STUFF!!!!!!!!! ACTUAL STUFF, not friggin fruits & vegetables!!!! It blends CROWBARS, MARBLES, IPODS, RAKES, GOLF BALLS AND MORE!!!!! THIS IS HOW TO SELL A MERE BLENDER!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!

When you hear someone marvelling about the Boffins at British Leyland, FORGET them!!!! FORGET THEY EVEN INVENTED ANYTHING!!! Here is the ONLY boffin you need to listen too - TOM DICKINSON!!! He just sits at home waiting for his wife to buy things, then takes them to his LAB and BLENDS them!!!!! BLENDS THEM TO DUST!!!!!!!!!

Let’s see this genius in action!!!

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