The Clover Butter ad
So, you’re kicking back on your Eames in the ad agency and your top team are pissing you off, badly. You’ve got a big client looking for a new ad, so what do you do with your execs? OBVIOUSLY You put them into a darkened room for a month, feed them a diet of Vitamin Valium & Ketamine, pump the My Dying Bride album in on constant loop - wait till the point they have morphed into fucking emo kids and are looking for a shoe lace to hang themselves with, THEN, and only THEN, they are ready - READY TO TOTALY DO the Clover ad!!!!
This ad is the worst, i mean the WORST ad i’ve seen in ages. Nothing can really live up to either the vacuum cleaning robots ad or the Marks & Sparks food & lingerie ads, but this polished up am-dram effort is painful.
Right, to the script, with added directors notes.
[cut to kitchen scene]
Mother cooks potato, puts potato on plate for son.
Son takes a fork full of butter from the potato, swallows, smiles, looks into the distance, crying. Thinking about the dog he lost in 1982 to the ride on mower in the garden. The dog that was his companion through thick and thin, the dog he loved. He loved that dog in the full Brokeback mountain sense
Remain silent, hold pose.
[cut to older couple scene]
Camera closes up and pans of Carer spreading butter thick enough to infer this is a euthanasia scene.
Cut to outside shot, rain hitting the window, HARD. Older woman, pensive look out the window, as if she is just tasting freedom from 18 years in a Vietnamese jungle prison.
Carer hands woman sandwich
Woman clutches chest - stares at carer as if he has just handed her his spare kidney to replace hers that has been ravaged by years of heroin abuse at the brothel she worked between 1965 & 1992.
[cut to family scene]
( WAIT… we haven’t used any disabled and need to hit the demographic quotas… hold on i’ve got an idea…)
Black father, sitting at the top of his table with his adoring family looking up to him about to eat his Corn with butter.
Father is crying, his family think he has been at the office all day, but infact he has a dark secret he cannot tell anyone, he has just caught AIDS after having spent the past 3 years cottaging on Clapham common.
Zoom in to father, tear streaming down his cheek.
Bites into corn, knowing he cannot tell anyone.
[cut to swirling butter]
[insert logo]
[AAAAANNNNDDDD CUT]
This is the most ridiculous thing i think i have EVER seen!! i can’t even fucking believe it!!!!
Have they never seen a Dairylee advert? Or fucking Extras?? Its catchphrases & comic figures that work!!!! At least shoot cows in a field with buttercups or some other crap - but no, people crying while eating!!! AND on further investigation - there’s a whole CRYING WHILE EATING subculture!!!!!!! Clover is obviously looking to lead this cult into the next millennium of WANKERS.
PS Look, it’s the clover ad in full Technicolor!!
Borrell says:
HAHAHAHA!! “Cuhnt” I’m stealing that badboy to drop into casual conversation!
I actually think the black dude is crying because he cannot quite fathom how he has a black kid yet some strange white woman in his kitchen cooking him meals, claiming to be his wife. Cue Maury or that american richard madeley lookalike to bust in and start quizzing the woman about putting the “thang” in her mouth….
Things weren’t like that in gone with the wind i be sawing the other day burrrghh
November 1st, 2006 at 9:22 pm
pazzo says:
its the way they churn it
and their just happy its not fuckin Stork
January 21st, 2007 at 6:15 pm
Robyn SImister says:
I HATE THIS ADVERT
EVERYTIME I SEE IT I JUST WANT TO PUNCH THE TELEVISION
THE MAN WITH A TEAR DOWN HIS CHEEK IS JUST PATHETIC
April 21st, 2007 at 6:49 pm
Alison says:
The BLACK MAN crying, makes me, NOT want, to buy clover butter! I’ll NEVER buy it! the ad is the worse EVER, it makes me SICK..BaRf
May 16th, 2007 at 8:28 pm
Mike says:
The first guy is the most annoying I think…everytime he pulls that shit-eating grin I just want to vomit.
May 26th, 2007 at 9:21 pm
n lee says:
Why is there no clover for sale in any of the supermarkets
June 11th, 2007 at 10:35 am
paula fox says:
Clover has been recalled because they found mould in the latest batch they made. So if the advert didnt put the whole nation off then this may do it.
June 12th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Ulf Raharjo says:
damn all these beautiful gir. Ulf Raharjo.
September 20th, 2007 at 12:04 am
Frederik Kyleigh says:
they’ll have you suicidal suicida. Frederik Kyleigh.
October 21st, 2007 at 11:36 pm
cl says:
i love this advert!!! esp t guy at t start
March 6th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
cl says:
yummy!!!!!!
March 6th, 2008 at 2:28 pm